I Hate Myself For Losing You
by iluvmylowandbaseball
Summary: This takes place during Last Week Fights This Weeek Tights. What will Rory do after she says no. Will she regret it? Please R&R. I know it's been done, but not by me. I may write a sequal it depends if I'm in the writing mood to write it. We'll see.


(A/N) Hey, I just felt like writing another story. It might be a one shot. It all depends on you guys. This takes on the night of Last Week Fights, This Week Tights. I know a lot of people have done this before, but I haven't. I hope you enjoy. Tell if you think I should continue.

I Hate Myself For Losing You 

Rory and Dean are entering her building after just noticing that the year is actually over with and that Dean is probably having problems with Lindsay.

" What's going on with you?" Rory asks Dean. Just then the building's front door opens and she looks over at it and sighs. " What are you doing here?"_ God, he looks so…so…hot._

" I need to talk to you." Jess says as he walks over to her and Dean._ Please, I need to talk to you. Damn it Rory, talk to me._

" Jess…" Dean starts but was cut off.

" I need to talk to you." Jess demands again.

" What's going on?" Dean asks.

" What are you doing here?" Rory asks him one more time.

" Rory, please." He pleads.

" Rory?" Dean looks over at her and she sighs.

" Go- home." She tells him.

" No." He answers angrily and glares at Jess._ What the hell does he want?_

" Yes go. You should go." Dean glares at Jess once more, and he leaves, slamming the door behind him. " Why won't you leave me alone? You won't go away." She cries as she turns to open the door.

" Rory."

" What do you want?" She demands.

" I don't know. I just wanted to see you, talk to you. I just…

" What?" She struggles with the keys._ Why? Just leave me alone. You can't just apologize and think I'll forgive you for what you did._

" Come with me." He suggests, and starts to like the idea.

" What?" She asks him.

" Come with me."

" Where?"

" I don't know…away!" He gestures to the door.

" Are you crazy?" She exclaims.

" Probably. Do it. Come with me. Don't think about it."

" I can't do that." She finally gets the door open and walks in.

" You think you can't, but you can. You can do whatever you want." Jess walks in after her and looks around.

" It's not what I want." She cries, hoping he'll just go away.

" It is. I know you."

" You don't know me!"

" Look, we'll go to New York. We'll work, we'll live together, we'll be together. It's what I want. It's what you want, too."

" No!"

" I want to be with you, but not here. Not this place, not Stars Hollow. We have to start new."

" There's nothing to start!"

" You're packed. Your stuff is all in boxes. It's perfect. You're ready. And I'm ready. I'm ready for this. You can count on me now. I know you couldn't count on me before, but you can now. You can." His voice cracks._ Please. Just do it. I love you Rory. I'm not going to hurt you. Not again. I already hate myself for losing you once, I don't want to hate myself all over again._

" No!" She walks further into the room and turns around to face him.

" Look, you know we're supposed to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you two years ago, and you know it, too. I know you do."

" No, no, no, no, no!" She yells.

" Don't say "no" just to make me stop talking or make me go away. Only say "no" if you really don't want to be with me."

" No!" He takes in a deep breath and walks out of the room. She lets the tears fall down her face._ Come on, Rory. You know you want to be with him. Just do it. You can't lose him again. You don't have time to make a god forsaken pro/con list. Go after him!_ She runs out of her room and runs outside where Jess is leaning against his car on the driver's side. She breathes in deeply and exhales. _I can do it. I can just go up to him and… What do I do? Follow your heart. Do what it tells you. You can do it. _She slowly walks around the back of the car and takes small baby-steps towards him.

" Just go away, Rory." He says quietly.

" No. I don't want to. I want to be with you Jess. I really do." She whispers and he turns to look at her._ Is he crying? Jess doesn't cry. Oh my god! He is crying! I can't believe this!_

" No, you don't. You're just saying that because you feel sorry for me." He shakes his head.

" Don't shake your head at me, Jess. I do want to be with you! I can't believe you don't believe me! I should be the one that doesn't believe you! But, guess what? I do! I believe you! You're the one that left without saying a word about it, but I still believe you! I want to be with! I know you want me to want to be with you! You know it's true!"

She walks over to him and does what her heart tells her to do. She cups his face in her hands and kisses him, fiercely but lovingly. He doesn't hesitate to kiss back. This is what he had wanted. He wanted her to believe him, and she did. Their tongues twist together. He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her closer. She backs herself into the car door and leans against it for support. After a few more tongue dueling minutes they finally pull apart. She rests her forehead on his and breathes heavily.

" I'm glad you want to be with me." Jess whispers. She smiles at him.

" I always did. Even after you left, I always wanted to be with you. I tried to convince myself that I was over you, but I wasn't. Over you I mean. I loved you, and I don't think I ever stopped."

" I loved you too. I always did. I didn't tell you I was leaving because you were stressed over your finals, and I didn't…I don't know…want to stress you anymore I guess." She kissed him briefly.

" You still should've told me. Maybe then we would've ended our relationship in a better note." Rory pulled away and stood about two feet away from him.

" I know. I'm sorry. I really am." She nodded and sighed.

" So, what now?" She asked.

" I don't know."

" What do we do? Are we even a we?" He smiled at her.

" Only if you want us to be a we." She bit her bottom.

" If you promise to not ever leave me like that again."

" I promise." She looked at him and smiled. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and walked over to the building.

" So, do you mind if I stay here? I don't have anywhere to go you know." She smiled.

" Of course." They walked into her dorm and then into her dorm suite.

" I'll sleep on the floor or something like that." She shook her head and sat down on her bed.

" You can sleep here." He smiled and sat down next to her.

" Good, 'cause I wasn't going to sleep on the floor even if you made me." He kissed her passionately and she deepened it. They fell back on the bed and Jess climbed on top of her. She loved the feel of his weight against her small body. He hesitantly played with the hem of her sweater. His fingers finally slipped under her sweater and touched her tender stomach. She covered his hand with hers and moved it up to her bra line.

" Rory?" He whispered. She nodded and he smiled. He moved his hand to her back and unhooked her bra. He pulled the sweater up over her head and slipped her bra off, exposing her top half to him. Once they undressed each other, they slipped under the bed covers. Jess pulled away from her lips and bit her neck gently. She shivered, but she enjoyed it. _Finally. I have always wanted this to happen. Always._

…………………

" So, what're we going to do?" Jess asked Rory a couple of hours later. She considered this for a few seconds and made up her mind.

" We…go to New York." She snuggled in closer to him and rested her head on his bare chest.

" Really?" He asked unbelievingly.

" Really." She confirmed.

" Why? Why do you want to go to New York?"

" You said it yourself. We have to start new. I really want to be with you Jess. And the only place I can be with you is New York." He sighed.

" We don't have to go to New York."

" Yes we do… I want to."

" Are you sure?" She thought about quickly.

" Yeah. Positive. I want to." He smiled.

" Good." He leaned over and kissed her deeply.

" I love you Jess."

" I love you Rory."

Maybe continued…… 

(A/N) So? How did you like it? If you want it to be continued, please tell me so. Review, review, review!


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